darn

and now i can't take myself seriously

i have to admit

today i stuck your rabbit in a pumpkin

daybreak

cursing flows like rivers
slipping, sliding from my tongue
rough, coarse, painful in my mouth
at least until calloused and numb
rough as ever, but slimy, too
bitter until tasteless
cursing flows like rivers
until a thought strays
cuts it short, eyes wide
and face pink as daybreak
cuts off thoughts, trains of emotion
cursing flows like rivers
unless a choice is made
enforced until the blood flows
punishment ----wrought on a
vile tongue in an almost vile mouth,
enforced until maybe, no hurt is needed
cursing flows like rivers

ways

first day back
in more ways than one
first day here
first day seeing
and it hurts
that laughter
those smiles
the attention
the familiarity
and the walk
the turn and the walk
and the away

tell

just crossing the street
jaywalking, too
with not a second's pause
and you break this
not a hesitation
and you break me
and you can't tell

easier

asserting my independence
walking away
not turning back
not daring to ask
for fear of crumbling
being salt seems
easier sometimes, though
and this walking away
without looking back
sounds easier than
leaving you behind
proves to be

can't break her fall...mat kearney

She says today is gonna be the last one
I know there's never gonna be an easy way out
She's rolling round the town with a fast gun
And I know I can't be there to catch her when she falls

Well half way down is half way out of here
We're either halfway drowned or half way 'round the pier
When you're that far gone

I walked the steps to her apartment with the window by the shore
And saw her curled on the tile through a crack in the door
I've been searching for the words I don't know how to say
I've been searching for the words to make it go away
I spent all of last night and the night before that
With my feet in the sand and the wind on my back
Watching a ship sail out to a blue wide sea
There must be more than this with a kiss we can't see

Well half way down is half way out of here
We're either half way drowned or half way round the pier
I can't break her, I can't break her fall
She's lying in the back room, crying on the bathroom floor
Singing I can't take it, I can't take any more
Just one reason, one to believe in
That's not that far gone
Not that far gone

I can't break her, I can't break her fall
She's lying in the back room, crying on the bathroom floor
And I can't take it, I can't take anymore

She says today is gonna be the last time
And I know there's never gonna be an easy way out

working

that's the way life works
yeah. it's not working

it's best

its always best to do whats hard
and it doesn't matter exactly who's to bear
the burden of what's best
and whether they'll last when the end draws near
and though they say you can do it
you know it's not true
it'll bend you if you manage
and kill you if you lose
either way you'll hurt
but looking forward now
you know how'll it'll end
and not with a bow

web

time just adds
extra complications.
hidden in unsaid words
and bitten lips.
knowing and waiting.
and watching the unaware.
time just weaves
it's web tighter and tighter
around you,
making it harder,
refusing to let you leave.
tying you down.
time just wastes
love and possibilities.
what could be is set off
postponed, and deferred
and you waste away
waiting for the inevitable.
time just leaves
its mark on everything you do
on everything and you.
days pass and you lose yourself
feel yourself slipping away
losing grip and all your best intentions
just time

this is when

worth it.
this is when it isn't worth it,
what this'll do for me.
late at night,
running low on interest,
fuel and sleep.
this is when
all that information
you pump into me
means nothing.
do you know that's why i'm here,
simply for what it'll get me.
not because i like it,
not because it's fun,
but because it's 'best'
at least thats what they say,
but now it doesn't seem so,
and i wonder if it will ever be the same

running

this place has made us crazy and we must get out
escape this, escape now.
i'm running out of patience
energy and life,
watching it drain away.
yes, there'll be problems
everywhere.
but you don't understand.
i'm losing it.
and you keep me here.
finish, you whisper, finish.
i am.

Yay! I'm a llama again!

heard the truth
from another's mouth
your voice spread
from north to south

doubted a second,
but saw it in the end
and now i'm believing
in the love you send

could i be you...matchbox twenty

Something is wrong with the sum of us
That I can't seem to erase
How can I be the only one
Without a smile on my face

[chorus]

Well now, you're laughing out loud
At just the thought of being alive
And I was wondering
Could I just be you tonight

You show your pain like it really hurts
And I can't even start to feel mine
Well, I'm standing in place
With my head first and I shake, I shake
I see your progress stretched out for miles and miles

[chorus]

You're laughing out loud
At just the thought of being alive, yeah
And I was wondering
Could I just be you tonight

This is the sound that I make
These are the words I chose
Somehow the right thing to say
Just won't come out
Just won't come out

[chorus]

And you're laughing out loud
At the thought of being alive
And I was wondering
Could I just be you tonight

And I was wondering
Could I just be you tonight

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na

And I was wondering
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
And I was wondering
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Yeah, and I was wondering
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
I was wondering, yeah

fray

not entirely

not entirely sure how to bring you up to speed
miscommunication brings less understanding
and suddenly
you ask for it all
what if i can't say it all?
what if i'm not fast enough,
right enough
or my words fall flat?
what if you don't understand?
what if i can't make you understand?
what happens then?

the beginning

this, heretofore (not that i know what that means) is my life in poetry.
basically, this means i don't have to pass my notebook around bio anymore,
and i am looking forward to not getting looked at funny by my teacher when i walk over to my friend then straight back to my seat.
i am going to attempt to communicate solely in poetry, but my poems are borne out of thoughts, a stream of conciousness that sometimes translates to poetry easily. needless to say, sometimes it does not translate, and you will recieve mixed messages or jumbled thoughts that just might happen to rhyme.
my poems are instinctive, and that means that they may be melodramatic or sexual or depressing. but please do not assume that i am feeling and acting upon feelings as intense as those in my poems. sometimes i am, but i somehow write about what i have not experienced along with all the things that i have experienced.